Spam Filter For Your Brain- Episode 102
I'm not a fan of the phrase guilty pleasures, and you might be unsurprised to learn that, or it might not be as something that you've thought about before.
I think it's quite a sort of socially acceptable in-joke. We talk about guilty pleasures, things that we do but we know that we shouldn't do anyway. And I like to find these little phrases and sometimes just, just checking on ourselves, on how much they're serving us and what's actually going on there, especially when it involves things like guilt.
Because for me, I believe that when we say things like "guilty pleasures", what we're actually doing is saying, here's something that I enjoy, that I've been taught that I shouldn't be allowed. And when I hear something like that, it makes me question, what messages is my brain receiving when I tell myself that I'm doing something bad or wrong or naughty? I don't think it's the fun sort of jokiness with which we maybe mention it to our friends or we laugh it off. I think that there's probably a bit of our brain and body that signals that something dangerous or bad might be going on here. And the very least we're saying that we can't be trusted.
There is definitely a whole load of information and studies out there that sort of prove your brain can't really tell whether you're being sarcastic or whether you are joking or not, it receives the message that you give it. The tone doesn't matter too much.
So what you're telling yourself, what you're telling your body, what you're telling your brain is that something's going on here that shouldn't be. And what happens when you tell yourself that you're guilty or wrong or not doing the right thing? What messages do you receive when you tell yourself that you're stepping out of line, not toeing the line, not doing the thing that you've been told is the right thing. And more importantly, probably than all of it, what could be possible with these things that you do choose to do if you actually just allowed yourself to enjoy it? If you allowed yourself to enjoy the thing that you've chosen to do because you like it? How often in your life do you allow yourself to just enjoy something?
I think it's very rare for most of us that we allow ourselves something that is just pleasure. We even label it as things like indulgence because we're not allowed to just like something. What would happen if you allowed yourself to just like something because you do and for sure, there may be some payoffs with some of the things, I think, some of the stuff that we call guilty pleasures, maybe things that, you know, you might not consider to have long term benefits, and there may be some short term consequences. But doesn't everything? Maybe not allowing yourself space and time for enjoyment, maybe that has consequences too. Maybe there's a payoff there. But I bet most of us haven't investigated that. Most of us haven't spent time wondering what life could be like if we just gave ourselves a little bit more joy, a little bit more of the niceness.
Pleasure is rebellion. Pleasure is something that we're not really taught that we should allow ourselves or dabble in too often. It's a scarce commodity that we should be gifted if we're lucky enough.
Guilt is something that is very much toeing the line, trying to keep you in your place and making sure that you're as small as possible and that nothing ever steps out of line. And you're not too loud and you're not too much. And I just invite you to be a troublemaker. Take the guilt out of it. Just take the pleasure. See what that feels like for a bit. You can always go back to the guilt if you really want it.
I wish you a very, very pleasurable week.
I hope that it takes you places where you weren't expecting. And I look forward to speaking to you next week.
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