Focusing on ourselves, self-compassion and future goals can be challenging, especially when we are dealing with the aftermath of things which have happened in the past. It can be exhausting trying to take jigsaw together life, work, health, family and the cost of living, And this can be this underlying background noise, but just being tired of trying to work on yourself when you rather just be living now.
It can be easy to feel like working on ourselves is just another tool. The Mist is not look at the potential for change or ease or growth (or joy); the other side which feels almost impossible to imagine (I wanted to write unenvisagable there, but apparently, that’s not a word). It's worth reminding ourselves that it won't always feel like graft, and there is potential for a different story the other side of the work.
One of the keys to moving forward is to work through Identifying your emotions. This may involve seeking professional help, such as therapy or counselling, or joining some of my coaching courses to learn new strategies. It may also involve journaling, exercise, or other forms of self-care to help us to release and manage the emotions that come up. The important thing is to make it playful and make it yours. This is how we motivate ourselves to do it, even when it feels hard.
Another important step is to practice self-compassion. This means being kind and understanding to ourselves as we work through the past and move towards our future goals. It means recognising that growth takes time and that setbacks are a normal part of the process. It also means being gentle with ourselves and not judging ourselves for not being further along in the healing process. This is all very well in theory, but how do we do that? (spoiler: That's what I teach.)
Setting and focusing on specific, achievable goals for the future can also help us to stay motivated and on track. And this is where I think many people get lost, especially if they're already feeling busy and overwhelmed. The idea of setting a goal can feel like more of a stretch than any of us have. Setting a goal may include setting goals related to education, career, or personal development; Also, be reading a paragraph of a book that you win. Like every day deciding that you want to learn how to garden or knit one row this week—or perhaps replying to a message from a friend you meant to get around to. It could be taking longer showers, or saving £2 a week for a holiday. Self care work can seem very pious sometimes, but when we remember that we're the ones making up the rules, we can make it the kind of thing we want to keep doing. And it is important to acknowledge progress is not always linear, but by setting goals and working towards them, we can start to see progress and feel a sense of accomplishment. If you are someone who's always overstretched, it can often be very rare to see markers of you making progress in your days. This is a way to do that.
Taking time to work towards things involving your emotional wellbeing and inner workings can be so hard, but it’s so, so worth it. But it's a lot easier, a lot more joyful, and a lot more likely that you do it if you treat yourself with gentle compassion along the way.
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