I used to think they were a waste of my time
I was an expert at making sure everyone else felt okay and avoiding my own stuff.
I cannot tell you the number of counsellors I went to see only to leave the room having told them nothing about myself and feeling like I had won some kind of bet.
It was ridiculous.
And also, it wasn't.
So many of us are socialised to believe that the way we earn love - the way we earn safety, is by putting everyone else before us. By ignoring our own needs. By making sure everyone else is ok first.
And I knew this about myself, and I thought that working in a group would only amplify this problem. And much as I loved other people, I really did not need to be spending the scarce time I had to look after myself looking after others at the expense of myself.
So, I avoided any kind of group therapy. For years.
When I began to design SelfCareSchool, I knew that I would have to solve this for both myself and anyone I was inviting into the space.
Because, if there is one thing I have learnt about self-development work, it is that if one person is thinking it, LOADS of people will be thinking it.
What I had never really considered is that there is no better place to unpack your own story than with a group of caring people, all working on their own unique journey; it is full of inspiration and empathy and is fertile ground for you to stop and think about what is important to you.
The clearest part for me is that I could learn everything I needed to hear by listening to other people be coached, and at first, I could not work out why; but quite simply, when we are watching someone else process something similar to what we are going through, but not having to explain the funny and furious whirlwind our brains become, then we can obverse the way we trap ourselves and skid to halt and trip ourselves up - and the patterns which get us there. Quite simply, it is always loads easier to obverse someone's problems; it just so happens that when they are also our problems - we learn an awful lot about ourselves in the process.
This is why I designed SelfCareSchool to have a weekly group coaching call. At this stage, the lessons and workbooks are a glorious bonus. It is the group sessions which are gold.
Because of the people. When we come together, we learn together, and when we learn together, we heal together.
If you know how to get your answers on your own - incredible. I am so happy for you.
If you don't think you'll ever get there yourself - we've got you.
Still trying to figure out where to begin? Let's start together.
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