Spam Filter For Your Brain - Episode 93
I wanted to pose a question about where self-sabotage might be exhausting you. You might think that the idea of being a little bit kinder to you is something a little bit frivolous, that maybe you don't have time for because there's too much other life going on at the moment. But I just wanted to pose the little idea, of where being mean to yourself actually takes a whole load of energy out of you, and makes you feel like all the other stuff is too much hard work. It's all of those "I can't cope" thoughts, or "there's too much to do" thoughts, or the "I'm not good enough" thoughts.
And all of those things may well be feel like they're very sort of natural responses to our hectic, over-productive lives that tell us that our value is based on how much we get done. But I also want to pose the idea to you that when we are being unkind to ourselves, when we're telling ourselves things like we're not good enough, we're not capable of this, or we don't know enough, or we're outsourcing our sense of decision making, or our authority to other people, all of that stuff takes a whole load of energy away from us. It takes a whole load of energy away from our capacity to deal with our everyday lives.
And when we look at things like this, you can see that looking after yourself, being kind to yourself, taking time out to work out what it is that you want, what fills your cup, what lights you up, all of those things are not frivolous extras to add into life. They actually help us cope with the every day on such a micro level.
I think the idea of sort of solving self-sabotage or starting to be more kind to ourselves can feel like it's for people who have a lot of time and money and good health. It's one of those extra things that people can do once their life is all sorted. But actually, if we can start ingraining some of this stuff into the way that we approach our everyday lives, the everyday stuff gets a lot easier.
I think most of us probably feel like we could do with a little bit more energy and definitely some more time, to be able to deal with all of the stuff that so many of us are holding at the same time and having to navigate through in our everyday lives. So I invite you this week to just get a little bit curious and notice if there are any ways that you're speaking to yourself in a way that you would consider to be less kind or if you're saying things to yourself that you absolutely would not say to somebody else, let alone somebody that you liked. And are there any of those phrases that could just be softened a little bit around the edges? Where can you just frankly be a little bit more kind and gracious to yourself?
And if you just start noticing doing that, maybe as a little experiment this week, just start to begin to notice what else in your life becomes a little bit freer, a little bit looser, a little bit more light when you're trying to do it. Where do you pick up energy that you have been spending managing all the emotions that come up when you're being criticised from the inside out?
Just spend a little time this week if you feel so inclined to have a look at where, frankly, being a dick to yourself is a massive energy drain, and what else could be possible if you started treating yourself with more compassion.
Do drop me an email, let me know how you're getting on. Let me know if any of this resonates for you. I'd love to hear from you.
And if you want to do something kind for me (and kind for loads of other people in fact, because it helps them find the podcast) if you fancy going onto the podcast and leaving me a nice review, that means that it's more likely that other people, it will come up in other people's searches and say more people will hear this. I'll be super grateful if you could take the time to do that. Really does make a huge difference.
Good luck with being kind to yourself this week. I look forward to hearing how you're getting on.
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