This week I lost £20,000 and I wanted to write about what managing your mind looks like in real terms. As many of you know, I run a programme of workshops for Survivors which provides creative ways for people to reclaim their bodies following abuse. A few weeks ago a philanthropic organisation told me they wanted to fund the programme for 2023 and pay me a wage. On Monday they told me I could expect the money by the end of the week. Yesterday, they changed their mind. 🚫 Here's what I didn't do:
I did not should myself
I did not criticise myself for what I could have done better
I did not call myself foolish for believing them
I did not make it mean anything about the project
I did not decide this did not work out, so nothing would work out
I did not say terrible things about the people who changed their mind
I did not allow it to sway me from my purpose
🫖 What I did was:
To allow the sadness for myself and other people I work with
To allow the frustration to flow through me - which meant it passed
I explained what was going on to my loved ones, so they did not think my responses were not about them
Chanted
I made myself a cup of tea
I had an early night
All of those actions meant that this morning I was able to still be feeling a little sad, but also really sit with the truth that three weeks ago I did not have this money either. I am able to decide that someone else's actions do not throw me off course. That I know the importance of the work I do, and I refuse to let rejection harden me. And this morning I began to look for new funders. I believe in putting into action more of what I want to see in the world, which is why all of my life coaching courses have scholarships for folk who would not usually be able to afford self-care. And why I offer things like the free drop-in coaching session next week. This is why I have so many courses available for Black Friday has such a range of accessible prices, because I wish everyone had access to these tools. I wish for you to be in a position where when adversity comes along and offers you gold and then stomach punches you days later, you can get up the next morning knowing who you are and why you do what you do. I wish you to have a practice where you show compassion for yourself every step of the way. Even when other people don't show it towards you. I live the tools I teach. I don't have everything sorted, but what I do have is a robust system that keeps me accountable to who I want to be in any situation.
If you would like to donate to help keep the programme free for folk who need it, you can do so here: https://gofund.me/59c3e8af
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