I know it's not fashionable for a coach to say, but I don't think you are broken.
But I do think it's worth looking into. Why so many of us feel so bad about ourselves the whole time.
Blame It on the Brain (But Also, Don't)
Ever felt broken? Like there's some part of you that just needs fixing? Most of us have for good reason. Our brain's got circuits which have been trained by years of social expectations, inherited beliefs, and that one scarring comment from Aunt Doris at Christmas. These circuits love patterns, even if the patterns don’t quite love us back. Neuroscience calls it 'neuroplasticity' – our brain's ability to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections.
And this has played out for all of us. Imagine you're a kid learning to kick a football. Fall once, alright. Fall twice, a bit annoying. Fall a dozen times, and now your brain's convinced that falling in front of other kids (or even playing football at all) is tantamount to a siege. And it's not so ridiculous. It is your survival mechanism kicking in. Fast-forward a few decades, and you're avoiding Saturday afternoon television like it’s an XLBully.
The Real Problem? It’s Those Pesky Cultural Narratives
Why do we, highly conscious and intelligent beings (yep, I’m talking about you), always feel this incessant need to 'fix' ourselves? Well, remember those billboards selling you the 'perfect' life if only you bought that new diet plan healthy lifestyle™️? Or the films which showed you only the flawless heroines won the day? And a thousand other delightful perfectionist views of the world shaped the very foundation of your brain's wiring.
The 'Fixing' Itch & Coaching
Coaching, especially mindset coaching, isn't about arming you with a toolkit to start dismantling you from the toes up (even though that’s what it sounds like sometimes). It's about giving your brain a gentle (sometimes not-so-gentle) nudge in a direction which serves you better.
Ever found a poem that opened up a whole new perspective, or a well phrased discussion on a hot topic which really shifted from your view? Coaching is a bit like that. It offers perspectives, challenges those stubborn neural pathways, and sets your brain on a path which feels more like you. The aim isn't to change who you are, but to quieten the inner voices which say “Sort it out” and gently encourage them towards “You're doing OK”.
But What’s In It For You?
I get it. It sounds like a lot of effort when you could keep bobbing along. But imagine a world where you feel more like yourself. A world where you're not in constant combat with your own thoughts, and gives you so much more time for the things you actually enjoy instead of being locked in a battle for your own worth.
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