Why you don't love yourself

You think it would be easy to love ourselves, right?

We've all been trying for so long.

And if you're around these parts? I'm going to hazard a guess that you've also read books on the subject, screenshotted inspirational Instagram quotes, and told friends how you occasionally know it is your own fault because you don't love yourself enough.

And I don't think things are that simple.

And I don't think we always want to love ourselves.

Not truly.

Because it comes with a risk.  Of potential. Of unknown. You have unsteadiness. Who would you be if you loved yourself unconditionally?

My immediate thought bubble is “Oh my God, what if I become a psychopath?” which is dripping with the notion that I can't be trusted, or I may just run wild, heaven forbid. I shouldn’t have too much happiness or what would keep me in check? If I loved my body, what would be the motivation for discipline? And in the blink of an eye, I'm parroting patriarchal bullshit that I don't believe in anyway.

Only I do.

A bit.

But only when it comes to me.

The truth is I'm scared to love myself without boundaries because I'm worried I'll be too much.

And what I really mean is I'm worried that I will be rejected.

And what I really mean is I'm worried that I'll be alone.

But there is nothing more lonely than rejecting yourself.

And I can see when I try to fill this deficit with other people's validation, it lands like empty calories. Delicious, but I'm still hungry.

I don't give myself such a hard time about not living up to the ideal anymore.

With the tools I teach in www.SelfCareSchool.co.uk I'm a lot more quick to notice where I'm seeking others to give me what I do not always allow myself.

I don't claim to have all the answers, but www.SelfCareSchool.co.uk teaches the best tools I've ever learnt to speed up the process so I can navigate back to myself each time I veer off course.  Because I will.  How very human of me.

I genuinely think the tools in www.SelfCareSchool.co.uk are some of the most powerful teachings I’ve ever discovered. If you'd like to spend less time berating yourself for not having it all sorted yet, I encourage you to join us.

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